Kaua’i

Xmas in November

Dear Corporate America,

Please look outside your window. Is the ground covered in snow? Do you see half eaten turkey bones strewn about? No? Good, that makes a lot of sense. Because it’s the middle of November.  So would you please SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CHRISTMAS ALREADY?

It’s November. It’s November. It’s November. On the list of things on my radar, Xmas currently tracks somewhere around position #26, right between the question which girl is getting voted off America’s Next Top Model this week and whether we’re eating too much salt as a people.

Whatever happened to the notion that Christmas time starts in December with the time of Advent? Or, for you marketing people who only see the world through dollar signs, with Black Friday – that delightful American demi-holiday that follows the Thanksgiving celebrations?

I just don’t get it. Are there really that many people running around thinking “OMG! Xmas will be here before you know it! Better start thinking about buying all those presents now, in the first week of November!” Have we really gotten that conceited? I remember walking into the mall last November and seeing one of those mall Santas all ready for action. I couldn’t help but rolling my eyes and making a face, he just looked way out of place. And I think the guy saw me do it, too, because the reaction in his face was one of embarrasment. Honestly, he was probably thinking the same thing I was: “Sorry dude. I know how ridiculous it is for me to be sitting here in my bright red Santa costume in the middle of November; and I’m feeling damn stupid. But what can I say? I need the money…”

Anyway, enough of that. Of course it’s up to everybody how he reacts to this commercial holiday barrage. Maybe it’s working and people are really buying tons of Xmas gifts already. Maybe. Personally, I’ll be ignoring every outlet that is spewing Xmas commercials on me right now. It’s my own little island of (totally ineffective) Holiday activism.