The Greatest Character Name Ever

There’s two types of character names in games and movies: the ordinary ones that you just pull out of a hat, without ever giving them much thought. And then there’s the names you agonize over for extended periods of time because you really want them to say something about the character. Ideally on a subconscious level, to add that extra little bit of punch. Ancient writer wisdom holds that, to create a good character name, you mix one part ordinary, and one part unique: John McClaine. Indiana Jones. Luke Skywalker. Some writers try to be too clever with that formula, giving rise to names like “Max Payne”. (Hit me over the head, I might not get the hidden meaning!)
But hey, there’s many opinions on what constitutes the perfect character name. As far I’m concerned, the discussion is over. The perfect name already exists, and it’s on American TV right now: it’s 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon.

That name is perfect – end of story, no further discussion required. “Liz Lemon”. It’s a alliteration, rolling off the tip of your tongue. It’s slightly off-beat and funny, setting the correct tone for the series. But it isn’t so off that it feels unrealistic. “Elizabeth Lemon” might be a cruel name to give a to a child, but we’ve heard worse. And, most importantly, the name perfectly describes the personality of Tina Fey’s character on the show – both professionally and when it comes to the character’s private life.

“Liz” is short and concise. It has a hiss to it, but that hiss can be softened when the dialog calls for an accommodating or condescending tone. It’s an ordinary name, but not so ordinary that we’ll immediately forget it. And that is really all that “Liz” has to do, because the last name does the heavy lifting by being truly brilliant: “Lemon”. I have to know more about a person with that name. It is loaded, and it immediately conjures a myriad of associations:

• Literally, it’s a fruit. That’s kind of weird and unique, right of the bat. Who’s called “Lemon”? How did that woman get through high school without counseling?
• It’s kind of cute: “lemon” sounds like a pet name. Maybe something that somebody invented for his or her spouse, which works great whenever Alec Baldwin addresses Tina Fey. They might not be romantically engaged, but whenever Jack Donaghy yells “Lemon!” he sums up their weird relationship perfectly.
• It has bite to it: who wants to chew on a lemon? It’s good for you with all that vitamin C “and stuff”, and the taste is pleasant in moderation – for example when watered down or sprinkled on top of other food. But a raw lemon is hard to enjoy. It has a pretty surface, and might be pretty to look at. But we all know that beneath the pretty surface lies a very sour taste.
• It’s a warning color: when we think of lemon, we think of yellow. And that brings up a whole bunch of other associations, like wasps and yellow traffic lights. They get our attention, and add a note of caution at the same time.
• It might be a train wreck: nobody wants to buy a “lemon” from a used car dealer. We even have “lemon laws” to protect consumers. A woman called “Lemon”? You never know. She might be great to…uhm, drive. Then again, she might have a lot of hidden flaws.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. The name describes Tina Fey’s character perfectly – by association, rather than being overly in-your-face (like “Max Payne”). Liz Lemon might be the best character name ever invented. And that is just one more reason to love NBC’s 30 Rock.