Xmas in November

Dear Corporate America,

Please look outside your window. Is the ground covered in snow? Do you see half eaten turkey bones strewn about? No? Good, that makes a lot of sense. Because it’s the middle of November.  So would you please SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CHRISTMAS ALREADY?

It’s November. It’s November. It’s November. On the list of things on my radar, Xmas currently tracks somewhere around position #26, right between the question which girl is getting voted off America’s Next Top Model this week and whether we’re eating too much salt as a people.

Whatever happened to the notion that Christmas time starts in December with the time of Advent? Or, for you marketing people who only see the world through dollar signs, with Black Friday – that delightful American demi-holiday that follows the Thanksgiving celebrations?

I just don’t get it. Are there really that many people running around thinking “OMG! Xmas will be here before you know it! Better start thinking about buying all those presents now, in the first week of November!” Have we really gotten that conceited? I remember walking into the mall last November and seeing one of those mall Santas all ready for action. I couldn’t help but rolling my eyes and making a face, he just looked way out of place. And I think the guy saw me do it, too, because the reaction in his face was one of embarrasment. Honestly, he was probably thinking the same thing I was: “Sorry dude. I know how ridiculous it is for me to be sitting here in my bright red Santa costume in the middle of November; and I’m feeling damn stupid. But what can I say? I need the money…”

Anyway, enough of that. Of course it’s up to everybody how he reacts to this commercial holiday barrage. Maybe it’s working and people are really buying tons of Xmas gifts already. Maybe. Personally, I’ll be ignoring every outlet that is spewing Xmas commercials on me right now. It’s my own little island of (totally ineffective) Holiday activism.

Dumbledore is gay

I’m loving it. Not because of any publicity that this might generating right now, but because of how matter-of-factly Rowling is treating Dumbledore’s sexual orientation. Dumbledore is gay. It’s part of his character; and now that we know it kinda makes sense. But so what, it’s no big deal! This fact was never essential to the story, the books work 100% without this knowledge. It just shows two things:

1. Dumbledore’s potentially controversial sexual orientation (at least in some backward circles) is 100% natural to Rowling, as it should be. And she’s promoting that “it’s no big deal!” attitude towards children, which is great.
2. Rowling really does have a deep understanding of her characters and there’s tons of backstory that we, as the readers, have (and never will) know(n) about. It turns each person into a fully realized, three-dimensional character. A memorable one, no less – and one that we automatically treat with respect when reading/watching/playing his story.

It speaks for the strength of the Harry Potter series that news like these make it onto the front pages of all major news sources, even after the last book has been released. But really, if we all follow JK Rowling’s lead this should be a “So what?” moment and not even be news-worthy. Maybe in a few years…

I’m married!

Victoria and I got married last night! And it was the happiest day in my life – I don’t think I’ve ever smiled that much before Word can’t describe how much I love Vicky.

But it’s a lot.

An awful lot.

She’s awesome like a hot dog. Consequently, Victoria put on an awesome wedding (I helped here and there, but she did most of it), and I think everybody had a great time.

One more week of vacation, which I’ll try to spend without thinking too much about work and other “stuff”. My family and friends are still in town, so we’ll try to use the time to relax and show them around.

BTW, the first Friday the 13th that our anniversary falls on will be in 10 years. I take that as a good omen, I’ve never been superstitious about numbers

Music Associations

I’ve often thought that music is the only form of expression that transcends its original purpose – and influences many other forms of art. Every other form of entertainment is usually absorbed in isolation, but music is complementary. You listen to it when writing, when making levels…when working on any piece of art. Every couple has “their song” that reminds them of a emontional time. Crafts are the same, and the music that you listened to gets forever associated with what you were creating at the time.

I can think of several music albums that have a connection with something I was working on:

Depeche Mode – Violator
The good old days. I was working on my Burg Schreckenstein level in the 3D Construction Kit (and in particular the hills to the lake and the boat house) at the time.

Deine Lakaien – Winter Fish Testosterone
I was working on The Troopers’ Playground, and in particular level 05 (the Underground Temple) when listening to this album.

Marilyn Manson – Antichrist Superstar
I really got into Marilyn Manson when making Beyond Belief – really the only Marilyn Manson album I ever got into (more for a lack of trying than for dislike of his music, though). I also listened to Depeche Mode’s “Ultra” a lot during this time.

Toto – Dune Soundtrack
I started he Armageddon 3 level for Quake when I was visiting Ritual Entertainment in Dallas for Quakecon 97. Something of a prolonged job interview, I stayed an additional week in the office afterwards and got to use the computer of Joe Selinske (who was on vacation) to make some Quake levels. I also got to listen to Joe’s CD collection – and the Dune soundtrack was prominently featured.

Ace of Base – Cruel Summer
Yes, I know – it’s Ace of Base. But just having moved from Europe to Texas I was looking for anything that reminded me of home, and the new (and AFAIK final) album by Ace of Base fit that bill. I was listening to it a lot when working on my Sin levels, particularly cleanup work on the chase through the abandoned buildings (2nd mission – started by Mike Wardwell).

Smashmouth – Astrolounge
Another guilty pleasure album. But what can I say, it sticks out in my mind. That album was actually a lot of fun to listen to, and I particularly remember creating the fireball traps in The Vault under the White Tower listening to the first track (“Who’s There?”)

Depeche Mode – Exciter
This is probably the weakest Depeche Mode album of recent times, but it’s Depeche Mode! So I played it a lot when working on Unreal 2. Particularly Mission_04, a set of levels that never got finished and didn’t make the final game. Mission_04 was a mining planet similar to Total Recall with a surface bases and some deep underground tunnels.

These days, I don’t have a favorite albums anymore – because the iPod shuffle has replaced the CD player. Whatever new albums I buy go straight into the shuffle and are rarely listened to as a whole. That’s kind of sad when you think about it…but kind of cool at the same time as well! The shuffle keeps digging up songs that I’d almost forgotten. Like the song Fighting TheGreen (from “Winter Fish Testosterone”), which played as was driving home tonight.The music reminded me of making TTP – and inspired me to write this post.

Got any music albums that remind you of a certain time in your life? Post them in the comments!

P.S.: For our wedding this Saturday, we’ll play Vanessa Carlton’s “San Francisco”. That’s the song that Victoria and I associate with good times

The Wheel of Time stops turning

R.I.P. Robert Jordan.

I hadn’t read any of Robert Jordan’s books when Glen Dahlgren contacted me in 1997 about working on The Wheel of Time computer game. But I was intent on doing my research, so I immediately went to Baedeker to buy the first volume of the series. In English, of course, because the game was going to be in English.

E3 1997 happened right around that time. I’d made contacts with several other game companies in America and I had potential job prospects (Legend could only offer me a remote position from Germany), so several regulars on the #level_design IRC channel were encouraging me to fly to Atlanta to mingle with the crowd and maybe make something happen. My parents were on vacation, so I borrowed some money from my late grandmother and bought an improptu plane ticket to America.

It was during the four-hour train ride to the Frankfurt airport that I started reading The Eye of the World. My English was still rather bad and I didn’t understand every word in the book, but the writing was so good that I was captivated anyway. Sure, when it really came down to it, Jordan was treading familiar territory: black riders, a wide-eyed farmboy goes out into the big world to fulfill his destiny, mysterious mentors accompany him… But Jordan did everything in a wildly imaginative and evocative way. The characters and world felt very alive, and everything was relatable.

Of course I ended up working for Legend and on Wheel of Time anyway. By that time, I’d already read all available novels even though I hadn’t been working on the game (as had Charlie Wiederhold, another potential WoT level designer who ended up working elsewhere). And I can guarantee you that every designer involved with the game cared about and was a huge fan of the books.

I’ll be the first to admit that the series eventually died on me and I only ever made it to book 7. That wasn’t necessarily because the story had become less interesting. It just seemed like there was no end in sight!
I think I’ll read all those remaining books now. It sounds like the final volume will be finished in one form or another, and I want to be ready for that. Thank you, Robert Jordan, for all that you’ve given us!

P.S.: The trip to E3 1997 didn’t actually happen after all because of a snafu at the airport. I spent four additional hours riding back home (and reading).

Ridley Scott

As I was finishing the Paul M. Sammon’s book Future Noir: The Making of Blade Runner today I was shocked to realize that Ridley Scott is 70 years old! That is pretty amazing to me. It should have registered earlier, I guess – the writing is on the wall. But to me Scott had always been this ageless entity that had been making movies (some of which stood the test of time better than others – but all of which had the potential to do so) as long as I could remember – and who, in my mind, was going to do this until long after I might have stopped caring. The fact that he will only do this for another 15 years or so (thinking positively) is weirdly surprising (and shocking?) to me.

Ridley Scott made Blade Runner when he was 45 years old. That’s older than pretty much every major player in the video game industry. I can take comfort in this realization as I look at the future of my own medium. And at the body of work I have amassed in my 9 professional years. Maybe growing old and “peaking early” isn’t as important as I initially thought. Maybe that’s what being in your thirties is all about: coming to that exact realization.

Harry Potter

I’m prepared to go on record on the 7th Harry Potter book (no spoilers), even though the following admission might lead to humiliation and ridicule. But here it comes: I think reading the new Harry Potter book before sleep is giving me nightmares.

I just don’t seem to be sleeping all that well during those nights. My dreams are filled with paranoid and disturbing scenarios. And let’s be honest, the last Harry Potter book isn’t exactly a joy to follow. People die left and right, things get lost or destroyed every other chapter, pivotal characters are defamed and painted in pictures never imagined… the whole story is just bleak. It’s well written and I’m glad to be reading it – but joyous and fun? Barely.

There, I said it; I feel better I’m wondering if I’m just being a wimp or if the book affects early readers even worse than me. The story above might also be the reason why I’m still not done with the book even though the rest of t he world probably is.

It’s not beer!

I think everybody has one or two Pavlovian responses. You know, where somebody utters a certain phrase and you automatically, without conscious thought, reply with the same premeditated phrase. Back in Virginia, there was a waitress that would, without fail, say “You’re welcome!” when you acknowledged a soda refill or whatever with a simple “Thanks.” Grant had himself some fun with that if I remember correctly, testing the conditioning at the most unlikely places. I remember her collecting everybody’s menus one day and six instances of “Than…”"You’re welcome!”
Good times

I catch myself saying “It’s not beer!” every time a Budweiser commercial comes on on TV and ends with statements like “The king of beers”. I can’t help it. People usually think I’m being facetious, a roundabout way of saying that Budweiser is a beer of low quality. But that ain’t it, I literally mean that it’s not beer. Because by the Reihnheitsgebot, Budweiser is not beer. Budweiser is made with rice, and the German purity law mandates that beer is made from water, barley, hops – and nothing else.

If you suspect that that attitude is elitist, clings to semantics and is…well, German, you’re 100% right. But it’s fun, isn’t it?

P.S.: I’ve been known to drink Budweiser with various people when it’s been offered to me. Just don’t tell anybody!

Ted Nugent, Idiot

So Ted Nugent is saying that “Gun-free zones [in schools] are recipe for disaster“. Because you know what? If more people had guns in schools they could take down the shooter instead of running away defenseless. Nugent then starts a long list of examples where guns prevented additional(!) bloodshed because somebody with a gun took down the initial shooter. Wow. Am I the only one who thinks that this is so incredibly backwards that it hurts to think about? Here’s a quote from the article:

“At an eighth-grade school dance in Pennsylvania, a boy fatally shot a teacher and wounded two students before the owner of the dance hall brought the killing to a halt with his own gun.”

Uhm, HELLO? How did an eight-grade boy get hold of a gun in the first place?! And is nobody noticing a trend in these stories? Almost every one of Mr Nugent’s examples start with “Somebody killed X number of people - and then a hero took down the gunman with his own gun.” So people died because somebody had easy access to guns – but that isn’t bad. No, easy access to guns is good because it prevented additional killings!

This is madnass. It’s as if somebody was saying “Okay people, we’re living a very dry forrest, and the danger of wildfires is extremely high! But we will let you all carry flamethrowers because it’s your constitutional right. Just don’t use them! Please don’t use the flamethrowers! (Pause) Everybody having flamethrowers is a great idea, though – because when some psycho does start torching a tree everybody around him can use their own flamethrowers to burn down the madman!”

I don’t know about you, but the above sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. The entire forrest would be burning in no time. Here’s a thought: how about we don’t allow flamethrowers in the first place?

“Everybody who really wants to get guns will get them anyway”, I hear people say. “Tough gun control laws wouldn’t have prevented VT or Columbine, because if a criminal wants a gun, he’ll find a gun.” And my response to that is simple: Bullshit. People who commit killing sprees at schools are not criminals. They are sick. Cho Seung-Hui, the Virginia Tech shooter, has been revealed as psychotic, depressed coward. Does anybody honestly think that that guy would have gone into the illegal underground to obtain his weapons? His crime was one of convenience – he was depressed, had a huge inferiority complex – and he had easy access to guns. Boom – that’s when the mix became potent. Cho Seung-Hui living in a world of tough gun control laws – he would probably have gone to jail for stalking later on his life, or committed suicide. But he wouldn’t have shot 32 people, because a person like him doesn’t go out of his way to obtain weapons illegally. He wouldn’t have known how to! I wouldn’t know how to!

There, my hat is now in the political ring. I know that the right to bear arms is deeply rooted in American history, and taking that right away would have far-reaching implications. If the government can strip that right, what other rights are fair game? But arguments like Ted Nugent’s are ridiculously backwards. If that’s the official NRA line we’re in deeper trouble than I would ever have thought. And somebody ought to get that into America’s head.

VT

I wasn’t going to say much about the Virginia Tech shootings. What happens sucks big time. And all the victims should be in our thoughts. But after seeing the news coverage for two days, I feel like getting this off my chest:

Hello media outlets? Would you please stop showing the asshole on your main page? You’re giving him much more power than he deserves, and you’re only going to encourage other sick minds to do the same thing.

“Wow, the guy never got any attention and then his face was on the CNN front page for three days! Maybe I can do the same and people will notice me! I’ll pose with guns and stuff!”
But then again CNN et all are having a field day right now, aren’t they? Probably more people watching in a day than in a whole week of “normal” news. Of course they’re gonna milk it for all that it’s worth, and will claim that it’s only in the name of providing information. Which is bullshit, of course. I can wait a few days until all facts are actually in and get a perfect summery in 5 minuters. But by doing their ongoing “Breaking News!” stuff the news are saying more about our society than the shooter alone ever would have been able to